single awareness day

february. yep, it’s the love month. the happy hearts month. and the most awaited february 14 is coming up. for lovers and couples, it’s called valentine’s day. but for those singles like me, it’s what i like to call single awareness day (aka S.A.D.). it’s called single awareness day because on that day, you become so aware that you are single due to the surroundings and that everywhere you go, you see sweet couples and dates and hearts and kisses and gifts and chocolates and flowers and all that romantic stuff. and sometimes you just get sick of too much mushiness around you. (of course, you’re secretly jealous and wish you received one.) you already know you’re single, and they seem to just be shoving it in your face. (argh!! haha.)

just added information, another definition for single awareness day, which i got from a friend’s blog. single awareness day: "a season when people of all gender who are currently single will start to mourn on that cursed day when they see hearts all around…" i would also quote another friend on this and it goes like this, "Like we need another day of the year to remind us to feel like shit because we’re single! Lol"

but you know what, to be honest, it’s not really that bad. and i’m actually happy and excited. it’s been a while since i felt happy about this day. let me look back at the past few years that i actually celebrated feb14. hmm..

2002 - just got one red rose. from whom? i will not say. why? i don’t really know.

2004 - my first ever bongga-cious valentine’s day. complete with a chocolate bouquet, a chocolate heart, teddy bear, card, a sort-of date, pictures (i think i lost them already.) and a necklace (the pendant has a different girl’s name on it. hmm..imagine that).

2005 - nothing happened really. eventhough i kinda had someone special.

2006 - first time i was single again. it was kinda sad. but i just celebrated it with my best friends.

2007 - this was another sad day. i had someone special. but i was a million miles away. you see i was in a long-distance relationship. so that just doesn’t work too good. (most of the time anyway)

2008 - well, can a single awareness day turn into a happy valentine’s day? we’ll just have to wait and see. plus we’ll find out soon anyway.

you see, my friends have been blogging about this day so i decided what the heck?, i’ll do one too. and here it is. so my message to all those celebrating valentine’s day, stay happy in love. enjoy the special day made for all lovers in the world. for those unfortunate like me, who will spending S.A.D., don’t fret. you are not alone. it doesn’t neccessarily have to be a sad or depressing day. you can turn it all around and still enjoy that day. try spending it with all your single friends. you could also drink up or do something crazy. my friends and i were thinking of wearing black on that day. and when they ask why, we would say we’re in mourning. hahahaha. (ok, so that’s suppose to be a joke. please, i hope no one thinks we’re trying to be more depressed or something.) but whatever you decide to do, please enjoy yourself and smile. always remember what they say, true love waits. (or true love is delayed. haha.Ü) happy feb14 everyone.Ü

i fall again

you think it was gonna be your typical friday - boring, in front of the computer, just at home. and you find out you’re completely, absolutely, terribly wrong.

yes, i fell down again. this time, harder than ever. nothing in life is ever easy to get. people may think that all that i want is within my reach. but they’re wrong. it’s not easy. expectations are higher. goals are higher. more pressure is added. just because people know that i can go far and i will, doesn’t mean that getting far is easy. today i got another slap from reality. my heart sank when i heard the bad news. my breathing was getting uneasy and i called up one of my best friends. and when she answered, i just broke down. i couldn’t control my emotions and my tears. i haven’t felt that way and cried that hard since my last breakup. i haven’t been this affected since last year. i almost forgot how it felt.

i have calmed down now. i think i have let it all out. one time, big time. got big hugs from my sister. i know my tears wouldn’t change anything. but now i can think clearer. i can see clearly what i need to do to turn things around and make them go my way. for tonight, let me just get a much needed sleep.

the thing that i find funny about all this is what my horoscope said today. it goes like this: "It’s not important that it’s friday or that it’s february or that it’s 2008. Think about your future and plan ahead. Anything that happens today will have no significance and will be irrelevant." hmm.. should i take this as coincidence or does this have another meaning? should i just forget what happened today and shrug it off? should i not care about it coz it doesn’t matter? thinking about it, it’s funny how most answers from the love book and even my horoscopes actually make sense and have meaning. and they actually relate to my personal life. i take that as my guidance from above. because only He knows best. and it’s true. *sigh*

 so i’ll just end this with a quote dedicated to myself for a more optimistic view filled with more hope for a brighter tomorrow. "Trusting God is a strange thing. We have a hard time bringing ourselves to do it, and yet when there’s nothing else left, it always works." i trust Him. always have, always will.